Familiar Stories and Points to Ponder
Family Turmoil - Early Diagnosis of Codependency
Fishing with Dad - (i) tab of quality, once a month
Does being the youngest child mean having the least experience? - For siblings in codependency
Building a Puzzle with Broken Pieces - some bogus analogy to ponder the value of learning from good examples.
A New Perspective - A relationship with an Autistic friend
copyright 2006 All Rights Reserved
Monday, July 31
Saturday, July 29
Family splitting apart at the seams
..A wedge has been driven in my family..
That wedge has the title of Codependency and it will never go away. Life was once simple when problems were ignored.
Is honesty the best policy? Is it true that what you don’t know can’t hurt you? If my father would have worn his “Compulsive Gambler” flag on his sleeve, and my mother her “Codependent Broach” I firmly believe that my journey for self reliance and responsibility could have started at a much younger age, maybe even early enough to develop typically. But I do also see the value in learning from you loved ones mistakes. Refer to Here Am I...There is my Family
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That wedge has the title of Codependency and it will never go away. Life was once simple when problems were ignored.
Is honesty the best policy? Is it true that what you don’t know can’t hurt you? If my father would have worn his “Compulsive Gambler” flag on his sleeve, and my mother her “Codependent Broach” I firmly believe that my journey for self reliance and responsibility could have started at a much younger age, maybe even early enough to develop typically. But I do also see the value in learning from you loved ones mistakes. Refer to Here Am I...There is my Family
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Friday, July 28
Here Am I...There is my Family
It seems like every step I take forward in this self-help journey, the codependents in my life take one step back or settle in and get comfortable.
I belong to an online forum where a joke was published that goes something like this: “What does a Codependent do when it gets stuck in a rut?” The answer with deadly accuracy being... “It moves in the furniture”.
My question is; is it as simple as to say that everyone moves at a different pace, some just aren’t ready? Or is it some what more complex. In my case, I propose the idea that being the youngest by nearly seven years my advice and my modeled actions are simple ignored? Maybe if I was the oldest and others had confidence in me, my example would send a ripple to my friends. If the recovering Codependents success is so obvious, why do they not listen?
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I belong to an online forum where a joke was published that goes something like this: “What does a Codependent do when it gets stuck in a rut?” The answer with deadly accuracy being... “It moves in the furniture”.
My question is; is it as simple as to say that everyone moves at a different pace, some just aren’t ready? Or is it some what more complex. In my case, I propose the idea that being the youngest by nearly seven years my advice and my modeled actions are simple ignored? Maybe if I was the oldest and others had confidence in me, my example would send a ripple to my friends. If the recovering Codependents success is so obvious, why do they not listen?
copyright
Thursday, July 20
Fishing Trip with Dad
My Girlfriend and I took my father fishing for father’s day this year. I live with my father and battle the day to day struggles of codependency with him. But none-the-less it was a great day together and he enjoyed it enormously. For the previous week I had been thoroughly researching and planning for this day. Fishing spots, tackle, bait shops, lunch, and an in depth list of supplies.
We reached the lake early that morning and found us a cozy spot on the shore of Lake Independence. (Maple Plain, Minnesota) We settled down with our gear in hand and though the fish turn out was not what I expected, the company was just right. For one day we could escape the daily grind and compulsive behaviors. The one thing I can say about my father these days is that he can really settle into silent meditation.
Though I know I will never truly know what is on his mind he looked very content that day staring off into the calm slap of the waves. Eventually we had decided that we wanted to hit the fish a little hard and we decided to join the locals out on the pier. My dad has never been one to fish next to people on a dock, but today he was content. After a few hours, a massive fish was on my line and though I lost it in the struggle to bring it to the dock my dad talked of the excitement for weeks. Even today, a couple months later, he wants to return to Independence to try for “the one that got away.”
Through my growth as a codependent I have found that it really is the little things that make a person happy. For all the times I have refused to give him money or help him out when I know it leads back to the gambling, all it took was a well planned trip to make it all up to him. Hard work and togetherness says so much more than a 5 or 10 dollar bill here and there. I won’t forget that day, thanks God.
copyright
We reached the lake early that morning and found us a cozy spot on the shore of Lake Independence. (Maple Plain, Minnesota) We settled down with our gear in hand and though the fish turn out was not what I expected, the company was just right. For one day we could escape the daily grind and compulsive behaviors. The one thing I can say about my father these days is that he can really settle into silent meditation.
Though I know I will never truly know what is on his mind he looked very content that day staring off into the calm slap of the waves. Eventually we had decided that we wanted to hit the fish a little hard and we decided to join the locals out on the pier. My dad has never been one to fish next to people on a dock, but today he was content. After a few hours, a massive fish was on my line and though I lost it in the struggle to bring it to the dock my dad talked of the excitement for weeks. Even today, a couple months later, he wants to return to Independence to try for “the one that got away.”
Through my growth as a codependent I have found that it really is the little things that make a person happy. For all the times I have refused to give him money or help him out when I know it leads back to the gambling, all it took was a well planned trip to make it all up to him. Hard work and togetherness says so much more than a 5 or 10 dollar bill here and there. I won’t forget that day, thanks God.
copyright
Sunday, July 16
Everyone knows that college is a stressful and often depressing place. But nearly one in two will need psychiatric help before they finish school. That's a lot considering schools like Texas A&M have 22 councilors responsible for 45,000 students. Imagine a work load of nearly a thousand students each.
The most prominent issues are; academic stress and apprehension due to fear of disappointment. Failure is an uncommon fact of life for many young adults entering college these days. The chief of mental health services at a well known ivory college says that close to 50 percent of college students may suffer from some level of depression. In the last 13 years Kansas State’s number doubled for students seeking counseling for depression. Most students were upperclassmen.
From my experience it is more common to hear college students complain about anxiety and depression then the common cold. Though I do wonder how much of collegiate mental illness’s stemmed from drug and alcohol use. This is sort of a chicken and egg issue. I have a feeling when it comes to surveying college students about drug use it must be hard to get an accurate, truthful response.
How to get help:
Students who have problems with depression or anxiety should talk to mental health counselors at their school.
Parents should keep an eye on their kids:
Though many of these behaviors may be present this does not necessarily single out a mental illness, it may just be something to talk about. In the words of a wise philosopher: "dude, at that age, my mind was doing wheelies."
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The most prominent issues are; academic stress and apprehension due to fear of disappointment. Failure is an uncommon fact of life for many young adults entering college these days. The chief of mental health services at a well known ivory college says that close to 50 percent of college students may suffer from some level of depression. In the last 13 years Kansas State’s number doubled for students seeking counseling for depression. Most students were upperclassmen.
From my experience it is more common to hear college students complain about anxiety and depression then the common cold. Though I do wonder how much of collegiate mental illness’s stemmed from drug and alcohol use. This is sort of a chicken and egg issue. I have a feeling when it comes to surveying college students about drug use it must be hard to get an accurate, truthful response.
How to get help:
Students who have problems with depression or anxiety should talk to mental health counselors at their school.
Parents should keep an eye on their kids:
- Sleeping more/less then usual
- change in appetite
- less motivation then usual
- Isolating themselves from those around them
- Chemical and Substance use
Though many of these behaviors may be present this does not necessarily single out a mental illness, it may just be something to talk about. In the words of a wise philosopher: "dude, at that age, my mind was doing wheelies."
copyright
Friday, July 14
Some experts appear to be starting to question whether or not compulsive use of technology can form into an addiction. Things such as online video games and online friend networks have a very dramatic pull to a teen trying to escape reality, believe me I’ve felt the urge myself. This escape from reality is being seen as an emotional coping mechanism and countries overseas such as Amsterdam are opening centers to fight the problem.
Addictions and emotional problems definitely make good company. Depression and anxiety can easily be combated with a scratching of a compulsive itch. This once healthy past-time, however, has a price to pay. It is far too easy for the overuse of such stimulus to interfere with sleep patterns and relationships.
Not to self; “don’t spend too much time on your blog. It’s past your bedtime.”
more info: http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/bb/neuro/neuro02/web2/mschlimme.html
copyright
Addictions and emotional problems definitely make good company. Depression and anxiety can easily be combated with a scratching of a compulsive itch. This once healthy past-time, however, has a price to pay. It is far too easy for the overuse of such stimulus to interfere with sleep patterns and relationships.
Not to self; “don’t spend too much time on your blog. It’s past your bedtime.”
more info: http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/bb/neuro/neuro02/web2/mschlimme.html
copyright
Wednesday, July 12
Banned online Gambling
On Tuesday, July 11th, Congress took a huge step towards banning most online gambling. The legislation voted on by the house would prohibit credit card and other payment options over the internet.
ISPs, banks, and credit card companies are the focus of this ban. Congress hopes that this bill will help in controlling payments to offshore websites. The title of the ban is "The Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act."
From what I have heard supporters say the ban will help the massive availability of online betting which supports addiction and financial problems.
In my opinion this is a huge step towards recognizing the massive issue of compulsive gambling in America. I understand the fact that Congress’ first priority is not to worry about compulsive gamblers, but I will take what I can get.
copyright
ISPs, banks, and credit card companies are the focus of this ban. Congress hopes that this bill will help in controlling payments to offshore websites. The title of the ban is "The Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act."
From what I have heard supporters say the ban will help the massive availability of online betting which supports addiction and financial problems.
In my opinion this is a huge step towards recognizing the massive issue of compulsive gambling in America. I understand the fact that Congress’ first priority is not to worry about compulsive gamblers, but I will take what I can get.
copyright
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