A Whole New Perspective

So far this blog's focus has been on bringing the current, codependent related news to the readers in as simple and factual ways as I could. But I'm sorry to say...not many people seem to care. (clears throat).

I have decided...enough is enough. It's time for me to stop trying to be a news source and talk a little more about life. Of course I'm always up for suggestions.

To begin…

I have been working in the day-training field with adults with developmental disabilities for the past year. I have made one incredible connection with a person on the mid to lower end of the Autism spectrum. One of the things I envy most in my new autistic friend is how little he "seems" to care about what I think about him. I wonder if he ever even thinks about my emotions and thoughts.

As strange as it sounds to myself when I say it, I Love It. What a great relationship to have with someone. I don’t need to pretend. In fact the more I pretend the more inconsistent I am and the more my relationship suffers. I can pack away all sorts of character traits I have developed that will never be addressed in this relationship. I don’t need to show sadness because I will not be comforted. My jokes won’t be laughed at so I might as well stop trying to be funny.

The closeness I experience with my friend took seven months of physical and emotional torment, but I found my place. I have learned to respect the fact that he has "it" more figured out then I do. I can not get in his head, nor can he in mine. I do sometimes wonder if he looks at me like a computer program. I serve whatever function he has given me, and occasionally I have bugs and need to be re-booted. The first 7 months I spent with him he was simply writing my program into his system. What buttons he needs to push to satisfy his needs.

As a codependent I don’t mind one bit. At least he is honest about his codependency and doesn’t spend one minute hiding it. He has taught me to take life as it comes and be happy about the little things. The color of my candy, the smell of burnt food, the magnitude of a loud noise, and the amazement of a rain; are all seen with new eyes thanks to my new friend.

In every relationship learning is vital. Without it good-byes are just empty. Who in my life serves what function? Who in my life does not serve the function I thought they did? And where have I been wrong all along.


copyright 2006, All Rights Reserved